Here on my blog again I get to tell you of the explosively great time I had at my NAMI Meeting (Nat. Alliance on Mental Illness)…To begin,, we go around the table and share WHERE WE ARE AT for up to 2 minutes, then we breakout into sharing more deeply starting with the most challenged person first!
This happened to be me today, since I shared about how I had been going through repeated bouts of SI = Suicidal Ideation—which I have been experiencing off and on for the past few weeks. I still don’t know if the suicidal ideation”feelings” come first or the suicidal thoughts do…? And I coming to rest upon —it really doesn’t matter—as long as I become aware of them and attempt to “head them off at the pass”!! Maybe they come at the exact same time? The pain and disillusionment is the same—the confusion and brokenness is the same! I have been able in the past to THINK my way out of the brown paper bags of disturbing feelings though! So I am very grateful for that !
My support system of 8 siblings and many many positive friends in my life make it that I don’t spend much time in any kind of PITY-PARTY!! I always have suicide hotline 988 to call if I am feeling really down. Those phone conversations have always gotten my into a better head/heart space! Some days I Have to call 988 several times in order to be on the growing edge of my Recovery…
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo grateful for my support people and the time and effort they put out for me when I call and am struggling to hold my head above water—or simply need to chat with a friendly face on the other end! God has gifted me with this support system so that I always know I am loved and LISTENED TO!!